When you receive your diagnosis you may find it difficult to tell friends and family. It is important to remember that, like you, they will be confused and upset and may not know what to do to help. There is no right way to deal with your friends and family, after all you know them better than anyone. The important thing in any family is to talk about how you feel. Tell them how they can help, even if it is doing something ‘normal’ with your friends to take your mind off your disease or treatment.

How do I get along with my family?
For most people with cancer, the family becomes an important support network. They’ll want to help you out when you are feeling tired or ill.  This can mean a life-changing time for you and your family that can lead to feelings of guilt, anger and frustration. Every family has their own way of coping with these feelings but whatever that is make sure you don’t bottle all your feelings up. Talking to your friends or a counsellor can really help.

Just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you won’t still have arguments about the normal stuff with your families too!

Some drugs, called steroids, can make you feel grumpy. This can affect your relationships with family and friends. It will be easier to deal with this if you explain that the drugs are to blame for your bad mood and not them.

A relationship can be another important support when you are diagnosed and are having treatment. A boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse can be a good person to talk about hopes and concerns.

Who gets to make the decisions?
Some parents find it hard to let their children make decisions about their treatment, even when they are young adults. In other families, the person with cancer wants their family to be part of the decision-making process. It is really important to discuss issues like this with your family and let them know to what level you would like them to be involved.

Will it affect my siblings?
Brothers and sisters, especially those who are younger than you, can find it very difficult to cope with your cancer diagnosis. The attention that you need from the rest of your family can make siblings confused and resentful.

Many families say that the experience of cancer in the family really brings them closer and makes them realise how lucky they are to have each other.

For more information about how families can cope with the experiences of blood cancer and treatment, please refer to the Leukaemia Foundation's section on Family Matters